One year ago today I got a positive pregnancy test. I actually had a positive one the day before, but had thrown it away. It was a cheap one that I had purchased in bulk and after the allotted three minute waiting period, had tossed it when I only saw one pink line. Unbeknownst to me, those cheapies ask for five minutes, so when I fished it out of the trash can several hours later (don’t ask me why), it looked positive. I googled “evaporation lines” and that second line didn’t look like an evaporation line, it looked like a second pink line. A little faint, but not really. Of course I was running late by that point and didn’t have to pee and my period was supposed to arrive the next day, so I told myself that I would take another test the next day if my period had not shown up by the time I got home from work.
The next day (March 6th) I used a digital test. And this time I read the instructions and three minutes later, were the words staring back me. Words I didn’t know I would ever see again. “Pregnant.” Holy shit.
I was excited, but terrified. Hopeful, but cautious. I wished that I had some magic time travel machine so I could see how this was going to end. For the next 28 weeks, I expected the best, but was prepared for the worst. And then I had a baby. And he’ll be five and a half months tomorrow. I still can’t believe it most days.
Unfortunately, with babies, comes pounds. Since I was 25, I have struggled with my weight somewhat. I was normal(ish) size, but since 26 or 27 haven’t been in the right BMI range. I didn’t think I was overweight, but my BMI calculator wouldn’t agree with that statement. When I got pregnant with Chase, I had gained a lot of weight in a one year period leading up to that pregnancy and it took until he was three before I lost just the baby weight. And then as soon as I was hitting my stride, I got pregnant with Ryder.
Although both of my living children were born early, I gained 30 pounds with Chase and 28 with Ryder. Thankfully I was spared the last weeks of additional weight for both of them, but I still managed to put on enough.
Today, I have lost all of my pregnancy weight from Ryder, and I am 4 pounds less than when I got pregnant with Chase. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve still got a lot more I would like to lose, but man, it felt good to see those numbers on the scale today.
When I lost Charlotte, it taught me a lot of things, but one of the most important things was that I needed to make myself a priority. I want to be around for my children and that means that I had to start eating better and moving more. I made a lot of lifestyle changes the months after she died, and have kept those up since Ryder was born. I bought a FitBit, which has changed my life. My work life is kind of on hiatus, but I mainly work out at night after Chase has gone to bed. Thankfully my most awesome, amazing and supportive husband puts Ryder to bed while I exercise.
I could not ask for a better husband. He eats my experimental dinners and doesn’t complain or criticize. He drinks my green smoothies with a smile on his face, and complimented me on my gluten free brownies. He is training for a marathon, but is quick to let me go for a run or do the elliptical and will gladly watch the boys. Yes, I have had to make some sacrifices of my “down” time, yes, I have given up a lot of foods that I enjoy eating, and yes, it has been hard, but I am so proud of myself.
If I am still going strong over two months into the new year, I think that I will be able to keep the momentum going. I have some very lofty goals and would love to get down to a weight I haven’t seen since my early 20s and with my awesome support system I know I can do it.